What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
