She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
