I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
