Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
