My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
