Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
