Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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