I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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