Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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