Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
its liver damage thursday
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
