i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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