I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
