the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
