i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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