i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Randomize
