i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize