so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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