While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
