____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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