Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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