if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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