so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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