He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
