he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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