so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
