wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
