I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
