Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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