Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
