fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
