Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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