Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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