Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
