The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
