does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
