we have pet lesbian snakes
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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