Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
