I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
