woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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