two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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