Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize