He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
