i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
