that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
