Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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