You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
