my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Randomize
