sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Randomize