Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
