you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
