You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
