im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
