She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
