dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
