Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
