Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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