i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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