I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
