is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
