so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
this will be a night to untag.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
