Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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