i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
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