I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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