This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
