if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
